Q: What is Enron?
Enron is the largest corporate bankruptcy in American
Q: What was it before
Not exactly sure.
Q: Why did Enron
The company was ruined by its enormous debt,
which, when it had outgrown even Texas-sized computers, was broken
down and hidden in hundreds of offshore subsidiaries.
Q: Is that legal?
not only legal, it's also a great way to manage your credit cards
and student loans.
Q: Who founded
N. Ron Hubbard, creator of the Church of
Scientology—another group under investigation by nearly every agency
of the U.S. government. Hubbard wrote Enron's mission statement,
which espouses self-determinism; the belief that Operating Thetans
Level VIII have full awareness, memory and ability independent of
the physical universe; and selling short while there's still time to
Q: Did Enron break any
It flagrantly defied gravity for at least ten
Q: Is that all?
may also be guilty of insider trading and fraudulent accounting.
Q: Was the White House involved
with the collapse?
President Bush did not communicate with Enron. When CEO Kenneth Lay
called to ask for help with the company's credit rating, the
president listened but did not respond.
Q: Then why did the
attorney general recuse himself?
He had to go to the
little attorney general's room.
Q: Who is Arthur
Arthur Andersen is a high school lacrosse coach
in Ann Arbor, Michigan. He is also an accounting firm.
Q: Why is the firm in so much
Instead of properly auditing Enron's accounts,
Andersen employees spent their days playing soccer on the beach in their work
Q: I was one of the Enron employees
who invested their life savings in now-worthless company stock.
Should I join the class-action suit?
That may not pay off
for years. In the meantime, visit eBay to auction off your Enron
logo-emblazoned golf balls, Kenneth Lay "Light of My Life" desk lamp
and vintage 1978 mint-condition Arthur Andersen plush doll.
Q: Vice President Cheney still will
not reveal what happened during his meetings with Enron executives.
What is he hiding?
A pastrami sandwich
at the very least.
Q: How much have Enron's political
connections influenced U.S. energy policy?
Imagine America as an elementary school and its energy
policy as a game of kickball. Then imagine yourself as the referee
of this game. Along come to the two teams--one made up of budding
environmentalists, and the other, would-be Enron executives. The
environmentalists are very cranky, and when they kick a foul ball,
they cry their eyes out if you count it against them. The Enron
executives, on the other hand, pad your Swiss bank account and
arrange for you to have sex with the supermodel of your choice.
Which team are you going to let win the game?
Q: It seems like
everything is collapsing—first the dot-coms, then the stock market,
and now major corporations. How can we possibly go
Watch "Friends" Thursday nights at 8.