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Historical Fantasy


The Woman Who Kick-boxed
the Great Bridge into Existence

The Untold Powers of Emily Roebling
Featured reading in "The Americana Project"
New York and Boston, 2001

Grit and the Gardener
The Untold Drama 
of Teddy Roosevelt and William Taft
Featured reading in "The Americana Project"
New York, 2001

Midnight Ride Redux
The Untold Gallantry of Pablo Rivera
Featured reading in "New Solos" reading series
New York, 2002

Emissary in Leather
The Untold Alien Abduction
of Judas Priest Singer Rob Halford
Published in "The American Journal of Print"
Issue 3, 2003



Request Permission to Use
the Word 'Veritable' in a Sentence

A modern military exchange

Poor Laurie
The only overtly sexual story
on this entire Web site
Featured in "New Solos" reading series
New York, 2002

Where People Hide Their Food
And other impertinent revelations

Sleeper's Fellowship
Blissful, peaceful, restful
Published in "Pindeldyboz"
Literary Magazine

Smoker's Coffee
Back by rampant demand

A Short Conversation with My TV
You know who's in charge


Generic Negative Radio Ad 
for a Liberal Candidate
Sung to the tune of 
"Escape (The Pina Colada Song)"

If you like nuclear fallout 
And losing hair down the drain 
If you can live off exhaust fumes 
Without frying your brain 
If you like the sound of empty shells 
As they fall from a gun 
But if not, I'm the one. 

Generic Summer Movie Trailer

ANNC:  Critics agree, (TITLE) is a film with a beginning, 
SUPER: ". . . beginning . . ." 
ANNC:  a middle, 
SUPER: " . . . middle . . ." 
ANNC:  and an end. 
SUPER: " . . . end . . ." 


ANNC:  In a worrrrld where swarthy, middle-aged men fire two pistols at once while leaping in slow motion from moving vehicles, curvaceous women who could be their daughters swell with delight, causing bald guys with lots of money and power to make things . . . explode! 


Six Signs That Your Partner Suspects 
You Are Being Unfaithful


--Partner takes sudden interest in washing your underwear 
--Weird answering machine message from DNA lab says, "The results are in." 
--Your secretary is found floating face-down in a swimming pool

--Legal waivers from "The Jenny Jones Show" express-mailed to your home 
--You smell fingerprinting chemicals on your bedside lotion bottle 
--You find a spy camera in your navel 

How to Avoid Talking to Relatives 
at a Family Reunion

--Ask for help with your student loans 
--Stare at the ground a lot 
--Come out of the closet 
--Put your father over your knee 
--Display your best-hidden tattoos 
--Lather your hair with potato salad 
--Tell toddlers what parts of the pig from "Babe" were ground up to make their hot dogs 
--Recite a poem about an affair with your psychoanalyst 
--Propose a toast to painful memories 
--Bring Joan Rivers as a guest 


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